Growing up as the oldest child, I always felt this sense of needing to be perfect in everything. I don’t know why; my parents were loving, and accepted me for who I was, but I always wanted to be the best, to have them be proud. I worked hard to be the perfect student, sister (ok let’s be honest it was a struggle some times…), and daughter. I crafted my riding skills as I rode horses, trying to be the best at my barn. I tried to be the most reliable one of my friend group at school. You get the picture…
Yet, inside I was struggling with this anxiety of what would happen if I slipped one day. What would everyone think if I failed?
As you can imagine, no one can keep up appearances forever, and I struggled some in high school, particularly with chemistry, my own mother’s college major. About that time, my grandfather passed away who I was close to, and who was a strong believer. I remember shortly after learning what it meant to be a believer and praying to receive Christ as my savior, coming across this verse:
“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus…” Romans 3:23-24
I remembering sitting back and realizing that it was okay if I wasn’t a perfect believer, or student, or daughter. He loved me, even knowing all the sins of my future! It brought such relief knowing that I didn’t have to be perfect because there was only one who could be perfect, and He died for me.
Today, spend some time in praise for your savior who died for you. Remember what it was like to surrender your life if you can remember, or if you haven’t done that yet, spend some time thinking through what is stopping you.
Have more time? Want to go deeper?
- Spend some time thinking through ways you try to be perfect. Where are you trying to be perfect right now? Where do you need to release that to God?